Tired of misreading her? Is she flirting with you? How to tell she is hot for you.
1: Body Stance: The flirting woman has her breasts thrust forward and her shoulders pulled back. One hand placed on a sexily jutting hip is a flirting signal for you to join her. Placing a hand on the back of a hip can also be a gesture to place emphasis on her tiny waist. Arching her spine into the shape of a displaying both her breasts and bottom is body language flirting, inviting you to check her out.
A strongly sexual body language signal is when she starts to lean forward bringing her arms in closer to her body, pressing her breasts together and deepening her cleavage.
Her fiddling with her neck jewellery invites you to look at her breasts. Playing with her necklace is a subconscious gesture to draw your eyes to her breasts a definite erotic signal to you that she is flirting is when she starts stroking her throat, neck or upper chest. The signal is even stronger if she combines the stroking with a neck arch. By tilting her head to show you more of her neck she is implying that she is starting to trust you. Throats and necks are “lovers zones”, places where no one else touches us.
2: The Preening Starts: Also known as ensuring that she is looking her best. Tucking in their tummies, standing up straighter, and pushing out their breasts are spontaneous and instantaneous gestures that women are interested. This will be followed by smoothing her skirt or dress, playing with hair and jeweler, and then disappearing to the ladies room for a once over. Adjusting and checking on appearances is a great sign of body language flirting. If you catch her checking out your butt when you are on the way to the bar, or she starts fixing her hair when you turn your back, you know she is interested sexually.
3: Eyes. The eyes say it all. A flirting woman will usually send 3 sidelong glances your way. You will get a second look to confirm they liked what they saw and a third if they are considering talking to you.
The 4 second scan. We look at uninteresting people for 3 seconds or less. A definite sign of interest is when the girl keeps throwing 4 second gazes your way.
How the flirting woman breaks your gaze. This is even more important than how she has been looking at you. If she looks to the side, or around the room, you have lost her interest. If her eyes drop to the floor before looking back up again to meet yours within 30 to 60 seconds you have a chance. Downcast eyes followed by a preening signal like playing with or tossing her hair indicates that she is liking what she is seeing.
If you are looking at her and your eyes lock, a flirting woman will often raise her upper eyelids slightly and rapidly. This is a very subtle eye opening movement that is saying, ‘I am looking at you.’
Zero eye communication means zero connection. Time to move on to someone else. A raised eyebrow usually indicates a question of some sort. The more you look someone in the eye, the more attractive, confident and truthful you seem.
4: Playing with her hair: Running her fingers through her hair, fluffing her hair, and the strongest sign of body language flirting, tossing her hair, are all designed to show you she is available.
5: Her Feet. Feet are a great indicator of the flirting woman’s true feelings. Few people notice what they are doing with their feet subconsciously because they are so far away from our faces. This places foot language a long way up on the credibility scale.
By pointing a foot towards you, the flirting woman is saying you are welcome to join her group.
She is slightly defensive if she has one leg crossed over the other, but while one foot is still pointing at you, it is still looking okay. Once she uncrosses her legs and starts mirroring your foot position this is a better sign that she likes you.
Her foot between your feet is an obvious sexual body language gesture. Better yet, if she should bend her knee and have it touching your knee or leg while you are both standing. These both suggest strong sexual flirting messages.
6: Her Palms and Wrists: Women will flash their wrist at someone they are interested in. While she is playing with her hair or fiddling with an earring, check to see if her wrist is turned to face you with her palm facing out. While she is flashing her wrist at you she is saying,’You can approach me’.
7: Her Legs: By sitting with her legs swung out to one side she is making an obvious attempt to make her legs look longer and herself good for whoever is watching. The more frequently she crosses and uncrosses her legs while facing you, the better your chances. The more thigh she is exposing the more likely it is that she is hot for you.
While sitting, women often cross their legs to look sexy, ladylike or just to show them off. The higher she crosses her legs over her thighs, the stronger the sexual signal. If she is also smiling at you, showing eye contact and is resting one hand in her lap this is extremely strong sexual body language. Smoothing hands over her thighs is another common preening sign for women when they are in the company of someone they find sexually attractive.
If you are in a barefoot situation, she will start to walk on tiptoe if she thinks attractive men are around. By doing this it makes her legs look longer, her body slimmer, and overall, she looks more feminine.
8: Does she want more? Towards the end of the encounter you can check out her intentions with this little test. Step towards her and then quickly step backwards. If she is interested, she will now step forwards to close the gap without even realizing she is doing it. Read sexual body language advice for the first date if you think that’s relevant to you. The other trick to try is to lower your voice to a whisper. If she stays right where she is and shouts at you that she can’t hear you, then she is not going to be getting any closer.
9: Does she want to kiss you? If she is doing any of these then the answer is probably YES!
Licking her lips. When faced with something arousing everyone licks his or her lips.
Eating and drinking suggestively, sucking and licking fingers. All ways of advertising their talents.
Keeps touching her mouth. Everyone’s lips become engorged when we get turned on, making us more conscious of them and more likely to play with them. Putting her head close to yours: This is nearly always an invitation to kiss.
Tilting her head: Getting into position on a subconscious level.
What the Colour of her Clothes Say about Her:
Hot Pink: She wants to stand out from the crowd.
Light Pink: Fragile.
Navy Blue: Business suit.
Light blue: Composed.
Black: Stylish, chic and original.
Red: She is happy to be the centre of attention and is not afraid of her feelings.
Beige: Uncertain.
White: Look at me.
The art of flirting with a hot woman has never been so easy. Body language attraction signals that guys can read in dating games. Apply these dating tips and go out there now or you can get this down-loadable guide for fine tuned tips and strategies - Guy Gets Girl!
Good Luck.
Coco Swan.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Dating Advice 4 Things You Should Never Say To Your Girlfriend
“What was it I said?” you think to yourself. Ever been in this situation? Tired of suffering from foot in mouth disease? Use these dating tips for guys to prevent dating women from becoming a verbal nightmare. Coco Swan explains which terms that come guaranteed to upset your girlfriend. Yes, really.
1: “Just relax.” When your girlfriend is totally freaking out, it might seem rational to you to say this. However, your girlfriend is upset about something which she sees as a valid reason for doing so. When you tell her to relax, you are implying that whatever is upsetting her to this extent is trivial, or worse, that she is being irrational. Girls do not like to be thought of as irrational. When you stay calm, which in her eyes is doing nothing, you are denying that there is a reason for her to be upset.
Rewind to this: “This is upsetting for me as well. Let’s fix this together.” You are now appearing to be in tune.
2: “I’ll leave it for you to decide.” By saying to her “I’ll leave it to you to decide” you are actually saying “I just don’t care what you decide”. Life is full of decision making. While men think of decision making as hard work, women see making choices as being part of a partnership and look forward to the input. When you leave it to them to make the decision you are making them feel that you just don’t care enough.
Rewind to this: “I don’t really like option A but option B and C sound pretty good. What do you think?” This is a splendid answer because it gets you out of deciding, implies you care enough, and proves you were listening.
3: Saying nothing at all You might be scared of saying the wrong thing. You may think this is the safe option. You may be thinking that “silence is golden”. You might be worried about incriminating yourself. Wrong, so wrong, very wrong and totally wrong! Girls feel abandoned and on their own when you do not talk to them.
Rewind to this: Say something, anything at all. You are better off to make some contribution to the conversation than none at all. It doesn’t matter if what you say is not right, it is always better than nothing at all.
4:”I love you” while fighting. The three most romantic words in the English language should never be used to get out of an argument. When your girlfriend is still furious with you, trying to get out of the argument like that will never work. Your girlfriend has more to say and you will be hearing it. By attempting to finish the disagreement like that, you are coming over as trying to sneakily shut her up and you will just wind her up even more. You will get no help from saying those three words now.
Rewind to this: Explain what you have done, in detail, with a good reason attached. Reassure her that you won’t do it again. Now you can say “I love you”. It is perfectly acceptable to end with this, just don’t begin your apology with it.
The ultimate all-time one-liners.
These are the three statements that all girls love to hear. By saying any of these you will be sure to defuse the situation and make her far more loving and rational. You can also use these tips.
“I’m sorry, you were right.” Or “I’m sorry, it is my fault.” Difficult words to say, but there is nothing more of a turn on to a woman than a man who is prepared to admit defeat on the strength of his love. Obviously, it probably wasn’t your entire fault, and if so, then you should be receiving an apology as well. You may feel like you are losing face by saying sorry, but in reality you are gaining enormous amounts of respect.
“You are just so gorgeous.” This must be said in a very genuine sounding way, and as if you have just that second been blinded by her beauty. From a girl’s perspective, is probably better than saying “I love you” as an end to an argument.
“Tell me the whole story.” Girls become angry at the thought of not being able to tell their side of the tale. By giving her free reign to talk, she will automatically start to calm down. Additionally, she will start thinking as she is talking “do I really want to tell him this bit? and “is this part really important?” and the story will become a lot briefer as a result.
Use this guide to dating to keep the love and romance. You can win the war of the words.
By using these relationship tips you will be able to defuse any argument and keep your love. If you’re currently in the market for a girlfriend, then this is the best guide I’ve read - How to get that girl.
Good Luck, Coco Swan.
1: “Just relax.” When your girlfriend is totally freaking out, it might seem rational to you to say this. However, your girlfriend is upset about something which she sees as a valid reason for doing so. When you tell her to relax, you are implying that whatever is upsetting her to this extent is trivial, or worse, that she is being irrational. Girls do not like to be thought of as irrational. When you stay calm, which in her eyes is doing nothing, you are denying that there is a reason for her to be upset.
Rewind to this: “This is upsetting for me as well. Let’s fix this together.” You are now appearing to be in tune.
2: “I’ll leave it for you to decide.” By saying to her “I’ll leave it to you to decide” you are actually saying “I just don’t care what you decide”. Life is full of decision making. While men think of decision making as hard work, women see making choices as being part of a partnership and look forward to the input. When you leave it to them to make the decision you are making them feel that you just don’t care enough.
Rewind to this: “I don’t really like option A but option B and C sound pretty good. What do you think?” This is a splendid answer because it gets you out of deciding, implies you care enough, and proves you were listening.
3: Saying nothing at all You might be scared of saying the wrong thing. You may think this is the safe option. You may be thinking that “silence is golden”. You might be worried about incriminating yourself. Wrong, so wrong, very wrong and totally wrong! Girls feel abandoned and on their own when you do not talk to them.
Rewind to this: Say something, anything at all. You are better off to make some contribution to the conversation than none at all. It doesn’t matter if what you say is not right, it is always better than nothing at all.
4:”I love you” while fighting. The three most romantic words in the English language should never be used to get out of an argument. When your girlfriend is still furious with you, trying to get out of the argument like that will never work. Your girlfriend has more to say and you will be hearing it. By attempting to finish the disagreement like that, you are coming over as trying to sneakily shut her up and you will just wind her up even more. You will get no help from saying those three words now.
Rewind to this: Explain what you have done, in detail, with a good reason attached. Reassure her that you won’t do it again. Now you can say “I love you”. It is perfectly acceptable to end with this, just don’t begin your apology with it.
The ultimate all-time one-liners.
These are the three statements that all girls love to hear. By saying any of these you will be sure to defuse the situation and make her far more loving and rational. You can also use these tips.
“I’m sorry, you were right.” Or “I’m sorry, it is my fault.” Difficult words to say, but there is nothing more of a turn on to a woman than a man who is prepared to admit defeat on the strength of his love. Obviously, it probably wasn’t your entire fault, and if so, then you should be receiving an apology as well. You may feel like you are losing face by saying sorry, but in reality you are gaining enormous amounts of respect.
“You are just so gorgeous.” This must be said in a very genuine sounding way, and as if you have just that second been blinded by her beauty. From a girl’s perspective, is probably better than saying “I love you” as an end to an argument.
“Tell me the whole story.” Girls become angry at the thought of not being able to tell their side of the tale. By giving her free reign to talk, she will automatically start to calm down. Additionally, she will start thinking as she is talking “do I really want to tell him this bit? and “is this part really important?” and the story will become a lot briefer as a result.
Use this guide to dating to keep the love and romance. You can win the war of the words.
By using these relationship tips you will be able to defuse any argument and keep your love. If you’re currently in the market for a girlfriend, then this is the best guide I’ve read - How to get that girl.
Good Luck, Coco Swan.
7 Tips for Romantic Gift Ideas.
Looking for the perfect anniversary gift? Birthday, Christmas, or Oops, Sorry!
A gift of love, when chosen with some thought, should say all the right things.
Lacking inspiration, or confidence? How to ensure your love gift idea will loved by your loved one.
Chocolate: Chocolate has long been named as an aphrodisiac, and is considered an essential ingredient in the art of seduction. Chocolates are great for gifts in the initial stages of dating as they are not seen to be too expensive or heavy on emotional statements. Unless the girl you are dating appears to have an issue with eating, chocolates will always be welcome. Comfort food for all occassions. Fine chocolates are a deliciously seductive way to enjoy an after dinner coffee. Chocolate is also appropriate for saying ‘hope you are feeling better’, ’sorry’ and ‘think of me while you eat these’. Here is an amazing chocolate site where the sky is totally the limit.
Flowers: Through the history of time, flowers have been linked to romance. Flowers will probably last longer than the chocolates, and the recipient is reminded of you every time they look at them. Not sure about buying flowers for a man? Then what about a plant. Do you think flowers are too girly for your tomboy date? How about buying her a cottage herb in a pot for her window sill that she can use in her cooking. If you are uncertain about color combinations try matching to the first outfit she was wearing when you met her.Buy the flowers in her favourite colour. Color coding to her couch or her drapes are also fantastic ideas. Be sure to explain to her that this is what you have done to win extra brownie points for observation skills and to show her you are eager to please.
Many blooms come attached with traditional meanings. These flowers all have positive messages:
Blue Periwinkle: Initial stages of friendship.
Purple Lilac: First stages of love.
Peach Blossom: I am yours. Captive.
Orchid: You are beautiful.
Gardenia: Secret love.
Azalea: True to the end.
Spanish Jasmine: Sensual. I think you are very sexy.
Cactus: Enduring love.
Purple Violet: You occupy my thoughts.
Red Rose: Passionate love. I love you.
Hibiscus: Deicate beauty.
Jonquil: Desire.
Honeysuckle: Bonds of love.
Dwarf Sunflower: Adoration.
Red Tulip: Love declaration.
Apple Blossom: I prefer you.
Who knew there were so many beautiful sublime messages in that ubiquitous buch of flowers?
However, you might want to think twice about sending some of these floral beauties:
Yellow Carnation: You disappoint me.
Striped Carnation: Refusal.
Red Carnation: Heartbreak or heart ache.
Sweet Pea: Departure.
Lotus Flower: Estranged love.
Yellow Chrysanthemum:Slighted.
Now I know why the old carnations from the corner store have never done it for me!
Special days of the year and calendar months all have their own flowers dedicated to them.
If you want to create a really meaningful statement for your special person how about trying Romantic Flowers for their professional input.
Perfumes and Colognes: The definition of perfume is ‘a pleasing, agreeable scent or odour’.
Most of us would also agree that it is also a pleasing and agreeable gift to receive. Perfumes and colognes are easy romantic gift ideas, as they can be perceived as being anything from a total luxury gift to something very personal and intimate. Perfumes are very strong memory triggers and can become very sentimental in the right situation. Perfumes and colognes are now being made to stimulate the sexual arousal receptors in our brains. Unsure what to buy him or her? Have a scout in their bathroom for clues as to their fave. Another great way to get it right is to ask them what they are wearing when you are nuzzling them. In this scenario you will at least know that you like that particular scent on them.
Top 10 Perfumes for Her:
1: Issey Miyake Ladies รข€“ exceptionally feminine and alluring.
2: Glow by Jlo- sexy and sparkling clean.
3: Spark Liz Claiborne - spellboundingly erotic.
4: Shalimar by Guerlain - a legendary and classic fragrance.
5: Romance by Ralph Lauren - a seductive scent. Appropriately named.
6: Boucheron Ladies - hinting of the refined orient.
7: Beautiful by Estee Lauder - a lingering romance.
8: Black Cashmere by Donna Karan - warm and alluring.
9: Vera Wang - a modern and elegant scent.
10: Blonde Perfume by Vesace - perfect for a romantic escape. Very feminine.
Most Popular for Him:
1:Versace Blue Jeans - clean and fresh.
2: Contradiction by Calvin Klein - an oriental woody odour.
3: Hugo Dark Blue - great for the office environment.
4: Good Life by Davidoff - more current than Cool Water. Sharp and spicy.
5: Chrome by Azzaro - sharp, fruity and masculine.
6: Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier - original and provocative.
7: Happy for Men by Clinique - subtle and refreshing.
8: D and G by Doce and Gabbana - very fresh.
Inspired to purchase a romantic gift that will have your dream dates nose a twitching? Here are two sites you can look at for heavily discounted prices Mens Cologne and Women’s fragrance.
Posters and Framed Artwork: The unique romantic gift that shows some thought and preparation. Is there something that he or she is mad keen on? Black and white photograghy? Vintage fashion? Sporting memorabilia? Cars? Politics? Entertainment? Magazine covers?
I have discovered the most amazing site that covers an astonishing amount of wall art, canvas art and framed objects. They also sell unframed posters and the like if you prefer. You may even end up purchasing something for yourself at this site. It is a hard one to leave. see the The Love Lounge.
Lingerie: Super romantic event or anniversary? A little tired of the usual boudoir attire of flannel or old boxers? Looking for a pick-me-up? Special lingerie is an ideal romantic gift idea. Choices are to purchase something for yourself to model for their pleasure, or something for them that you would like to see them in. When buying for another, it is best to avoid any unpleasantries by ensuring you get the correct size. You will insult her if you buy her a size 2 when she is actually a 10. A sure fire fun stopper. Click here to find a vast range of everything from bridal to risque to costume, for both the guy and girl - see outstanding and stylish Lingerie here.
Jewelry: Giving the gift of jewelry can be seen as a big statement. Not all jewelry is a diamond ring. Earrings and pendants, for him and her, do not have the emotional commitment behind them in an early relationship as the ‘ring’. Bling can be as big or small as you want it to be.
Watches are another great idea at any stage of a relationship. Nowadays, we all have sports watches, night club watches, the work watch, formal event watches and funky accessory watches. Watches fall into all sorts of price ranges and best of all, whenever they look for the time they will be reminded of you. You are allowed to think the film ‘9½ Weeks’ here if you want to go that far!
Romantic Christmas gift. I love you gift. Thank you gifts. Last minute gifts. Luxury gift. Anniversary gifts. Birthday gifts. Love gifts . I am truly sorry gift. Put some thought into your gift of love and receive the gift of love in return.
Happy Shopping, Coco Swan.
Author: Coco Swan - Cocoa has supplied instant acces to a range of quick decision
A gift of love, when chosen with some thought, should say all the right things.
Lacking inspiration, or confidence? How to ensure your love gift idea will loved by your loved one.
Chocolate: Chocolate has long been named as an aphrodisiac, and is considered an essential ingredient in the art of seduction. Chocolates are great for gifts in the initial stages of dating as they are not seen to be too expensive or heavy on emotional statements. Unless the girl you are dating appears to have an issue with eating, chocolates will always be welcome. Comfort food for all occassions. Fine chocolates are a deliciously seductive way to enjoy an after dinner coffee. Chocolate is also appropriate for saying ‘hope you are feeling better’, ’sorry’ and ‘think of me while you eat these’. Here is an amazing chocolate site where the sky is totally the limit.
Flowers: Through the history of time, flowers have been linked to romance. Flowers will probably last longer than the chocolates, and the recipient is reminded of you every time they look at them. Not sure about buying flowers for a man? Then what about a plant. Do you think flowers are too girly for your tomboy date? How about buying her a cottage herb in a pot for her window sill that she can use in her cooking. If you are uncertain about color combinations try matching to the first outfit she was wearing when you met her.Buy the flowers in her favourite colour. Color coding to her couch or her drapes are also fantastic ideas. Be sure to explain to her that this is what you have done to win extra brownie points for observation skills and to show her you are eager to please.
Many blooms come attached with traditional meanings. These flowers all have positive messages:
Blue Periwinkle: Initial stages of friendship.
Purple Lilac: First stages of love.
Peach Blossom: I am yours. Captive.
Orchid: You are beautiful.
Gardenia: Secret love.
Azalea: True to the end.
Spanish Jasmine: Sensual. I think you are very sexy.
Cactus: Enduring love.
Purple Violet: You occupy my thoughts.
Red Rose: Passionate love. I love you.
Hibiscus: Deicate beauty.
Jonquil: Desire.
Honeysuckle: Bonds of love.
Dwarf Sunflower: Adoration.
Red Tulip: Love declaration.
Apple Blossom: I prefer you.
Who knew there were so many beautiful sublime messages in that ubiquitous buch of flowers?
However, you might want to think twice about sending some of these floral beauties:
Yellow Carnation: You disappoint me.
Striped Carnation: Refusal.
Red Carnation: Heartbreak or heart ache.
Sweet Pea: Departure.
Lotus Flower: Estranged love.
Yellow Chrysanthemum:Slighted.
Now I know why the old carnations from the corner store have never done it for me!
Special days of the year and calendar months all have their own flowers dedicated to them.
If you want to create a really meaningful statement for your special person how about trying Romantic Flowers for their professional input.
Perfumes and Colognes: The definition of perfume is ‘a pleasing, agreeable scent or odour’.
Most of us would also agree that it is also a pleasing and agreeable gift to receive. Perfumes and colognes are easy romantic gift ideas, as they can be perceived as being anything from a total luxury gift to something very personal and intimate. Perfumes are very strong memory triggers and can become very sentimental in the right situation. Perfumes and colognes are now being made to stimulate the sexual arousal receptors in our brains. Unsure what to buy him or her? Have a scout in their bathroom for clues as to their fave. Another great way to get it right is to ask them what they are wearing when you are nuzzling them. In this scenario you will at least know that you like that particular scent on them.
Top 10 Perfumes for Her:
1: Issey Miyake Ladies รข€“ exceptionally feminine and alluring.
2: Glow by Jlo- sexy and sparkling clean.
3: Spark Liz Claiborne - spellboundingly erotic.
4: Shalimar by Guerlain - a legendary and classic fragrance.
5: Romance by Ralph Lauren - a seductive scent. Appropriately named.
6: Boucheron Ladies - hinting of the refined orient.
7: Beautiful by Estee Lauder - a lingering romance.
8: Black Cashmere by Donna Karan - warm and alluring.
9: Vera Wang - a modern and elegant scent.
10: Blonde Perfume by Vesace - perfect for a romantic escape. Very feminine.
Most Popular for Him:
1:Versace Blue Jeans - clean and fresh.
2: Contradiction by Calvin Klein - an oriental woody odour.
3: Hugo Dark Blue - great for the office environment.
4: Good Life by Davidoff - more current than Cool Water. Sharp and spicy.
5: Chrome by Azzaro - sharp, fruity and masculine.
6: Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier - original and provocative.
7: Happy for Men by Clinique - subtle and refreshing.
8: D and G by Doce and Gabbana - very fresh.
Inspired to purchase a romantic gift that will have your dream dates nose a twitching? Here are two sites you can look at for heavily discounted prices Mens Cologne and Women’s fragrance.
Posters and Framed Artwork: The unique romantic gift that shows some thought and preparation. Is there something that he or she is mad keen on? Black and white photograghy? Vintage fashion? Sporting memorabilia? Cars? Politics? Entertainment? Magazine covers?
I have discovered the most amazing site that covers an astonishing amount of wall art, canvas art and framed objects. They also sell unframed posters and the like if you prefer. You may even end up purchasing something for yourself at this site. It is a hard one to leave. see the The Love Lounge.
Lingerie: Super romantic event or anniversary? A little tired of the usual boudoir attire of flannel or old boxers? Looking for a pick-me-up? Special lingerie is an ideal romantic gift idea. Choices are to purchase something for yourself to model for their pleasure, or something for them that you would like to see them in. When buying for another, it is best to avoid any unpleasantries by ensuring you get the correct size. You will insult her if you buy her a size 2 when she is actually a 10. A sure fire fun stopper. Click here to find a vast range of everything from bridal to risque to costume, for both the guy and girl - see outstanding and stylish Lingerie here.
Jewelry: Giving the gift of jewelry can be seen as a big statement. Not all jewelry is a diamond ring. Earrings and pendants, for him and her, do not have the emotional commitment behind them in an early relationship as the ‘ring’. Bling can be as big or small as you want it to be.
Watches are another great idea at any stage of a relationship. Nowadays, we all have sports watches, night club watches, the work watch, formal event watches and funky accessory watches. Watches fall into all sorts of price ranges and best of all, whenever they look for the time they will be reminded of you. You are allowed to think the film ‘9½ Weeks’ here if you want to go that far!
Romantic Christmas gift. I love you gift. Thank you gifts. Last minute gifts. Luxury gift. Anniversary gifts. Birthday gifts. Love gifts . I am truly sorry gift. Put some thought into your gift of love and receive the gift of love in return.
Happy Shopping, Coco Swan.
Author: Coco Swan - Cocoa has supplied instant acces to a range of quick decision
7 Tips For Understanding Guy’s Body Language For Singles Dating
Do you know how to read his body language? Is he flirting with you or your drinking buddy?
Body language signals that tell you he is hot for you.
1: Stroking his tie. According to body language experts, the tie is fundamentally a signpost to his penis.If he should start playing with or stroking his tie, then there is a great chance that he is interested in you. By taking the initiative yourself and stroking his tie admiringly, you are giving him a very strong sexual signal.
2: Rubbing his nose. Unconscious preening begins when a man spies a woman he is attracted to. Other body language gestures to look out for are rearranging his clothing, rubbing a finger along an eyebrow or pushing a hand through his hair. Similarly to the tie, the nose is a phallic symbol.
3: Finger pointing down to his groin. If he is resting a hand on his belt, or has his hand in his front trouser pocket , with a finger pointing straight down to his pelvis then anyone looking at him is drawn to his crotch. His whole body is highlighting his groin in this highly sexual body language stance.
4: Rocking back and forth on his heels. This is considered to be subconsciously a type of “upright thrusting”. One of the surest body language gestures that he is hot for you.
5: Crotch display. The more enthusiastic the guy is, the further apart his legs will be, irrespective of whether he is standing up or sitting down. This is considered to be very primitive flirting body language and is also behaviour seen in the monkey families. Basically he is showing you his fantastic package, on a purely subconscious level, of course
6: Standing with hands on his hips. By standing like this he is emphasising his size. By taking up more space he is appearing larger and more domineering. In cave dwelling time’s females chose the bigger males for better means of survival, which explains why many girls go for the powerful and strapping type.
7: Straddling the barstool. By sitting like this he is offering you a great view of his crotch. If he should start to rock back and forth on the stool as well, look out. This male body language here spells the one thing on his mind is you.
Men are using the same body language as they did in prehistoric times, much of which is also seen in the animal kingdom. Here’s a supporting article about body language for the first date. Compared to us girls, guys have a much smaller range of flirting body language gestures and those that they do use are very easy to spot. Luckily for us. Obviously reading his body can be easier than reading his mind. Look for groupings of the above for highly interested flirting signals. Three or more and he is yours!
Fortunately, now we no longer live in caves, we can at least expect some civilized gestures such as a drink and conversation before being dragged off to the modern day equivalent of the cave.
Cheers!
Coco Swan.
Body language signals that tell you he is hot for you.
1: Stroking his tie. According to body language experts, the tie is fundamentally a signpost to his penis.If he should start playing with or stroking his tie, then there is a great chance that he is interested in you. By taking the initiative yourself and stroking his tie admiringly, you are giving him a very strong sexual signal.
2: Rubbing his nose. Unconscious preening begins when a man spies a woman he is attracted to. Other body language gestures to look out for are rearranging his clothing, rubbing a finger along an eyebrow or pushing a hand through his hair. Similarly to the tie, the nose is a phallic symbol.
3: Finger pointing down to his groin. If he is resting a hand on his belt, or has his hand in his front trouser pocket , with a finger pointing straight down to his pelvis then anyone looking at him is drawn to his crotch. His whole body is highlighting his groin in this highly sexual body language stance.
4: Rocking back and forth on his heels. This is considered to be subconsciously a type of “upright thrusting”. One of the surest body language gestures that he is hot for you.
5: Crotch display. The more enthusiastic the guy is, the further apart his legs will be, irrespective of whether he is standing up or sitting down. This is considered to be very primitive flirting body language and is also behaviour seen in the monkey families. Basically he is showing you his fantastic package, on a purely subconscious level, of course
6: Standing with hands on his hips. By standing like this he is emphasising his size. By taking up more space he is appearing larger and more domineering. In cave dwelling time’s females chose the bigger males for better means of survival, which explains why many girls go for the powerful and strapping type.
7: Straddling the barstool. By sitting like this he is offering you a great view of his crotch. If he should start to rock back and forth on the stool as well, look out. This male body language here spells the one thing on his mind is you.
Men are using the same body language as they did in prehistoric times, much of which is also seen in the animal kingdom. Here’s a supporting article about body language for the first date. Compared to us girls, guys have a much smaller range of flirting body language gestures and those that they do use are very easy to spot. Luckily for us. Obviously reading his body can be easier than reading his mind. Look for groupings of the above for highly interested flirting signals. Three or more and he is yours!
Fortunately, now we no longer live in caves, we can at least expect some civilized gestures such as a drink and conversation before being dragged off to the modern day equivalent of the cave.
Cheers!
Coco Swan.
You Can Get Your Dream Girl!
The dream date of your life doesn’t know you exist. How to get that girl to love you. 9 Tips that can make her yours.
1: Personal hygiene. Girls place a lot of emphasis on cleanliness. You will never get a girl if you have greasy hair, dirty fingernails or you don’t wear deodorant. (Unless, of course the girl is into the grunge look.) These may seem like unimportant things to you but girls are really turned off by guys who they think are not clean. Yes. They will notice. Go easy on the pongy aftershave as well. You are going for clean and natural.
Make sure you also clean your teeth daily. Bad breath is another no no. She will never kiss you if she can’t get past your breath.
If you have issues with your skin there are many great products out there to invest in. This is not such an issue as all of the above, if you can just make sure that your skin looks clean and well tended.
2: Image. Do you look like you fit in with her circle of friends? Maybe it’s time for a new haircut and some new clothes. If you are unsure, ask your sister, female friend or relation for advice. You don’t have to be a clone of the people she hangs out with, but maybe you just need to adjust your style a bit so it meshes. Being your own person is good so long as it is not too out there or just plain socially unacceptable.
3: Smile. Whenever you see your dream girl you should smile. In a natural way. Not a scary stalking way. It is actually very hard not to acknowledge someone when they smile at you. Try it and see for yourself. Observe other things that make her smile.
4: Be prepared. If you are very shy or get tongue-tied around her think of things to say to her in advance. Ask her if she had a good weekend. What is she doing this weekend? This will also give you some clues as to what she likes to do in her spare time, where she goes, what interests she has. You may find that you already have things in common. If you do, you should work on that. For example, you both might like the same band and can then arrange to go in a group to see them. Get to know the sexual body language of the flirting woman. Group outings are good because then the girl will feel safe. Maybe you can arrange to just catch up there. You may find that you already go to the same club or venue but on a different night, in which case you need to change your night.
5: Sense of humour. People are always attracted to happy people. You don’t have to become a professional clown but girls like guys who can laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously, especially initially. Look around at any bar or party. Is the crowd around the skulking surly person or the guy with the big smile and laugh? It just takes practice.
6: Notice things about her. All girls like guys to notice their new hairstyle. This is because so many guys don’t. Even if it looks really slight to you, it isn’t to her. Commenting on new shirts or clothes is also fantastic. Especially if you compliment her on them. Once she realises you are noticing her she will probably start to play along just to see what happens. You will now have her curiosity.
7:Build up her trust. This is very situation dependent. Is she a work colleague or someone with less history who sells you your lunch? Obviously if you work with her this will probably be easier than if she is more of a stranger. If you work with her you can arrange things so that you can go out for group drinks, activities etc. In this kind of environment you can also offer to help her out with stuff like fixing cars, moving house, etc. Try to start being a good friend to her so she can see what a great guy you are. Before long, she may wonder how she got along without you. With more of a stranger, building up trust will take more time and will definitely need at least one group activity so she can see that you are safe. In this scenario, tagging along with her and her friends is probably a good idea, as she will be thinking there is safety in numbers. Getting to know her friends is a great way to getting to know her better.
8: No stalking. You must not do anything that could be construed as stalking, crossing personal boundaries, or in the workplace, what could be construed as sexual harassment. Keep it friendly and appropriate. We all know the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. You don’t have to be in her face the whole time.
9: Keep her guessing. Girls like a bit of a challenge.
You can get that hot girl to be your dream date. It will take time. It will take trust. Remember, practice makes perfect. Start now! You know you can when you know how.
Good Luck.
Coco Swan.
1: Personal hygiene. Girls place a lot of emphasis on cleanliness. You will never get a girl if you have greasy hair, dirty fingernails or you don’t wear deodorant. (Unless, of course the girl is into the grunge look.) These may seem like unimportant things to you but girls are really turned off by guys who they think are not clean. Yes. They will notice. Go easy on the pongy aftershave as well. You are going for clean and natural.
Make sure you also clean your teeth daily. Bad breath is another no no. She will never kiss you if she can’t get past your breath.
If you have issues with your skin there are many great products out there to invest in. This is not such an issue as all of the above, if you can just make sure that your skin looks clean and well tended.
2: Image. Do you look like you fit in with her circle of friends? Maybe it’s time for a new haircut and some new clothes. If you are unsure, ask your sister, female friend or relation for advice. You don’t have to be a clone of the people she hangs out with, but maybe you just need to adjust your style a bit so it meshes. Being your own person is good so long as it is not too out there or just plain socially unacceptable.
3: Smile. Whenever you see your dream girl you should smile. In a natural way. Not a scary stalking way. It is actually very hard not to acknowledge someone when they smile at you. Try it and see for yourself. Observe other things that make her smile.
4: Be prepared. If you are very shy or get tongue-tied around her think of things to say to her in advance. Ask her if she had a good weekend. What is she doing this weekend? This will also give you some clues as to what she likes to do in her spare time, where she goes, what interests she has. You may find that you already have things in common. If you do, you should work on that. For example, you both might like the same band and can then arrange to go in a group to see them. Get to know the sexual body language of the flirting woman. Group outings are good because then the girl will feel safe. Maybe you can arrange to just catch up there. You may find that you already go to the same club or venue but on a different night, in which case you need to change your night.
5: Sense of humour. People are always attracted to happy people. You don’t have to become a professional clown but girls like guys who can laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously, especially initially. Look around at any bar or party. Is the crowd around the skulking surly person or the guy with the big smile and laugh? It just takes practice.
6: Notice things about her. All girls like guys to notice their new hairstyle. This is because so many guys don’t. Even if it looks really slight to you, it isn’t to her. Commenting on new shirts or clothes is also fantastic. Especially if you compliment her on them. Once she realises you are noticing her she will probably start to play along just to see what happens. You will now have her curiosity.
7:Build up her trust. This is very situation dependent. Is she a work colleague or someone with less history who sells you your lunch? Obviously if you work with her this will probably be easier than if she is more of a stranger. If you work with her you can arrange things so that you can go out for group drinks, activities etc. In this kind of environment you can also offer to help her out with stuff like fixing cars, moving house, etc. Try to start being a good friend to her so she can see what a great guy you are. Before long, she may wonder how she got along without you. With more of a stranger, building up trust will take more time and will definitely need at least one group activity so she can see that you are safe. In this scenario, tagging along with her and her friends is probably a good idea, as she will be thinking there is safety in numbers. Getting to know her friends is a great way to getting to know her better.
8: No stalking. You must not do anything that could be construed as stalking, crossing personal boundaries, or in the workplace, what could be construed as sexual harassment. Keep it friendly and appropriate. We all know the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. You don’t have to be in her face the whole time.
9: Keep her guessing. Girls like a bit of a challenge.
You can get that hot girl to be your dream date. It will take time. It will take trust. Remember, practice makes perfect. Start now! You know you can when you know how.
Good Luck.
Coco Swan.
How to Break up with your Boyfriend
Not sure how to break up with your boyfriend? Breaking up has never been so easy. “There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.” Not really. Using his personality type, Coco Swan gives you 3 break up tips.
You want to break up. It’s time to call it quits… How do you go about giving your boyfriend the dreaded news that you don’t want to see him anymore? Breaking up with someone is never easy. While you have already made up your mind, often for the other half the news is coming like a bolt out of the blue. The best way to break up is to determine his personality type and then follow this break up advice.
1: Mr. Insecure (Mr. Needy). At first, you thought he was the one. He was perfect. He was your soul mate. You fell for each other hard. You were sooo in love with each other. Totally smitten. At the start, he was entirely besotted with you. Everything was perfect. Now, you can’t remember the last time you saw your friends and you have noticed you seem to spend all your time with him. Your soul mate is not being quite so affectionate with you and has started getting a bit terse as well. Lately, he has even started saying he is the best thing you are ever going to get. This guy’s modus operandis is to lure you in and then have you so dependent on him that you are too scared to leave him. He has removed you from everyone else to isolate you. This guy is terribly insecure and it is time to break up before he totally does your head in. If you stick with this guy, pretty soon he will have you believing that you are lucky that even he tolerates you.
The kiss off: You will have to treat this guy with kid gloves when you break up. This guy is highly likely to put on an Oscar winning performance of remorse and tears. He will promise to change. He won’t. The best way to deal with him is to tell him you are not ready for such a level of commitment. Ignore his pleading. Don’t give him a second chance because the relationship will only deteriorate further.
2: Mr. Ego (I’m too sexy). Initially, you couldn’t believe your luck at catching this hot guy. All your friends were jealous of you dating this Adonis. He even has beautiful manners and is polite to your parents. However, now you have come to realize that those drop dead gorgeous looks come at a price and that this guy is Mr. High Maintenance. He has more visits to the beauty counter than you, and visits the hair stylist on a regular basis to maintain that trendy do. His life really revolves around himself and his image. Deep down, he’s really superficial.
The kiss off: The best way to dump this walking mirror is straight up. Tell him you that you have different interests and that you don’t like doing what he does. Fundamentally, you don’t think you have anything in common, except perhaps for product. Not only will you be fare welling this shallow creature but you may also decrease the size of his ego. Of course, there are men that you should never date.
3: Mr. Nice Guy (Get a life). This guy has been the perfect boyfriend. He watches chick flicks happily, sends you flowers, accompanies you to the mall willingly, and even likes your friends. His mantra is “anything you want to do is fine with me”. Now you realize there is no challenge in this relationship. You are getting tired of him not having a mind of his own and you are feeling a bit like you want your own space. Don’t just keep dating this guy because he is too nice to hurt, or you will just end up not being able to stand him.
The kiss off: This guy is so nice that you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Breaking up with this too nice guy can be really hard. You can’t just say to him “you are so nice you are driving me mad”. You have to break up with this guy gently. Whatever you do, don’t say “it’s not you, it’s me”. This guy deserves better than that. You could try a line like “you deserve someone better than me” or “it’s not a good time for me to have a boyfriend” or ‘I really like you, but the chemistry just isn’t right”. Whatever you say, try to be kind but firm. Try to convert him into a platonic friend as this sort of personality can make a great guy pal.
Other ultimate send offs: If you can’t figure out his personality, or none seem appropriate, you can always try one of these well used lines to dump him.
“I have decided that I prefer girls.” A drastic statement that works well.
“I have met someone else.” Even if you haven’t, this has a tone of finality.
“I want to get married and have your babies.” Absolutely guaranteed that you will never see him again.
You have decided it’s time to break up. Be brave. Brace yourself. Use these break up tips to your advantage. Replace him with a better boyfriend!
Adieu, Coco Swan.
You want to break up. It’s time to call it quits… How do you go about giving your boyfriend the dreaded news that you don’t want to see him anymore? Breaking up with someone is never easy. While you have already made up your mind, often for the other half the news is coming like a bolt out of the blue. The best way to break up is to determine his personality type and then follow this break up advice.
1: Mr. Insecure (Mr. Needy). At first, you thought he was the one. He was perfect. He was your soul mate. You fell for each other hard. You were sooo in love with each other. Totally smitten. At the start, he was entirely besotted with you. Everything was perfect. Now, you can’t remember the last time you saw your friends and you have noticed you seem to spend all your time with him. Your soul mate is not being quite so affectionate with you and has started getting a bit terse as well. Lately, he has even started saying he is the best thing you are ever going to get. This guy’s modus operandis is to lure you in and then have you so dependent on him that you are too scared to leave him. He has removed you from everyone else to isolate you. This guy is terribly insecure and it is time to break up before he totally does your head in. If you stick with this guy, pretty soon he will have you believing that you are lucky that even he tolerates you.
The kiss off: You will have to treat this guy with kid gloves when you break up. This guy is highly likely to put on an Oscar winning performance of remorse and tears. He will promise to change. He won’t. The best way to deal with him is to tell him you are not ready for such a level of commitment. Ignore his pleading. Don’t give him a second chance because the relationship will only deteriorate further.
2: Mr. Ego (I’m too sexy). Initially, you couldn’t believe your luck at catching this hot guy. All your friends were jealous of you dating this Adonis. He even has beautiful manners and is polite to your parents. However, now you have come to realize that those drop dead gorgeous looks come at a price and that this guy is Mr. High Maintenance. He has more visits to the beauty counter than you, and visits the hair stylist on a regular basis to maintain that trendy do. His life really revolves around himself and his image. Deep down, he’s really superficial.
The kiss off: The best way to dump this walking mirror is straight up. Tell him you that you have different interests and that you don’t like doing what he does. Fundamentally, you don’t think you have anything in common, except perhaps for product. Not only will you be fare welling this shallow creature but you may also decrease the size of his ego. Of course, there are men that you should never date.
3: Mr. Nice Guy (Get a life). This guy has been the perfect boyfriend. He watches chick flicks happily, sends you flowers, accompanies you to the mall willingly, and even likes your friends. His mantra is “anything you want to do is fine with me”. Now you realize there is no challenge in this relationship. You are getting tired of him not having a mind of his own and you are feeling a bit like you want your own space. Don’t just keep dating this guy because he is too nice to hurt, or you will just end up not being able to stand him.
The kiss off: This guy is so nice that you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Breaking up with this too nice guy can be really hard. You can’t just say to him “you are so nice you are driving me mad”. You have to break up with this guy gently. Whatever you do, don’t say “it’s not you, it’s me”. This guy deserves better than that. You could try a line like “you deserve someone better than me” or “it’s not a good time for me to have a boyfriend” or ‘I really like you, but the chemistry just isn’t right”. Whatever you say, try to be kind but firm. Try to convert him into a platonic friend as this sort of personality can make a great guy pal.
Other ultimate send offs: If you can’t figure out his personality, or none seem appropriate, you can always try one of these well used lines to dump him.
“I have decided that I prefer girls.” A drastic statement that works well.
“I have met someone else.” Even if you haven’t, this has a tone of finality.
“I want to get married and have your babies.” Absolutely guaranteed that you will never see him again.
You have decided it’s time to break up. Be brave. Brace yourself. Use these break up tips to your advantage. Replace him with a better boyfriend!
Adieu, Coco Swan.
Should You Live Together Before Marriage?
Maybe you are thinking “why buy a book when you can join a library?’. Should you move in with your guy before he has slipped that diamond ring on your finger? Will this mean he will never pop the question? According to the latest research this is not the case.
Moving in with your long term boyfriend is a major turning point and a huge step in your relationship. If you were morally opposed to this, or if it went against your religious beliefs, then obviously you would not be contemplating this issue. Most career men are of the opinion that if you are not living together, then a relationship will only progress so far.
Moving in with a girl is a gigantic step for a career guy. He is contemplating getting engaged. If living with you goes as well as he hopes, he has already decided to purchase an engagement ring. Moving in with a girl is a big deal for a guy. He is throwing away his little black book, changing his routine, sacrificing any opportunities to date other women, and giving up a lot of his independence. Professional men see this as moving their relationship to another level and will only do this if they see the girl as being special enough. Drastic lifestyle changes will only be undertaken for a woman perceived to be marriage material.
Living together before marriage gives you the opportunity to experience the other’s faults, habits and funny little quirks. That endearing little quirk that you thought was so cute on an infrequent basis may drive you to distraction when faced with it daily. There are many things you will only learn about someone by living under the same roof. No one gives out lessons on how to do this successfully, so you will just have to play it by ear. Use this as an opportunity to iron out all the wrinkles in the relationship before you make the ultimate commitment. As a couple, you will be able to see how well you can make compromises in the all important issues of domestic finances and duties.
Your guy will become quite anxious for a little while once you have moved in together. He will be looking for any major conflicts. He is feeling that his independence is under threat. He no longer has the freedom that he had before, and for a lot of men this is a terrifying concept. You should allow him to have some time out to himself. The less threatened he feels, the closer he will become to you. A man has to be able to feel that he can be left alone when he wants to be. Giving a man space when he needs it, is perceived as being a terribly important trait for a wife.
When you shouldn’t move in together:
You should never move in together just so that you can save on rent or because one of you has had a flat mate run off. If your boyfriend is only talking about moving in together, in terms of convenience, then don’t do it. He is only seeing you as a flat mate he can sleep with. You should only move in with your boyfriend if you have been in a long term relationship together, and you feel that you are headed for matrimony. Do not move in with him too early on in the relationship. The formula seems to be to date for about 1 year and then think about living together.
Before you move in with him you should talk to your boyfriend about your expectations of the relationship. You should probably be expecting the diamond ring within a year of cohabiting together. However, be careful how you word your expectations as you don’t want it coming over as an ultimatum. You should have this conversation before you move in together, probably in the same talk where you both discuss where you see the relationship going long term.
Once you are sharing the love shack you should ease off on the commitment stuff for a while. Let him have a chance to adjust and relax. Your boyfriend knows that he has an obligation to you for a further commitment. Most guys will propose within 6-12 months of living together. If he hasn’t made any mention of it by the first anniversary, it is probably a good idea to have another talk about where the two of you are headed. Some guys will get complacent if the relationship is all just going along nicely. These fellows definitely need a prod forward. If after a year, your guy is not happy for a further commitment, you should think about leaving.
De facto relationships are important for professional men to ascertain that you really are Mrs. Right. Career guys will only move to this level in their relationship if they are contemplating popping the question. If you need to brush up on your attraction skills, this is (I believe) one of the best downloadable guides around: How to get that guy. So, yes, you can live together before marriage and still manage to get that diamond solitaire. By using this living together advice, you will be increasing your chances of getting engaged. A life partner is forever and so is a diamond.
Good Luck!!!
Moving in with your long term boyfriend is a major turning point and a huge step in your relationship. If you were morally opposed to this, or if it went against your religious beliefs, then obviously you would not be contemplating this issue. Most career men are of the opinion that if you are not living together, then a relationship will only progress so far.
Moving in with a girl is a gigantic step for a career guy. He is contemplating getting engaged. If living with you goes as well as he hopes, he has already decided to purchase an engagement ring. Moving in with a girl is a big deal for a guy. He is throwing away his little black book, changing his routine, sacrificing any opportunities to date other women, and giving up a lot of his independence. Professional men see this as moving their relationship to another level and will only do this if they see the girl as being special enough. Drastic lifestyle changes will only be undertaken for a woman perceived to be marriage material.
Living together before marriage gives you the opportunity to experience the other’s faults, habits and funny little quirks. That endearing little quirk that you thought was so cute on an infrequent basis may drive you to distraction when faced with it daily. There are many things you will only learn about someone by living under the same roof. No one gives out lessons on how to do this successfully, so you will just have to play it by ear. Use this as an opportunity to iron out all the wrinkles in the relationship before you make the ultimate commitment. As a couple, you will be able to see how well you can make compromises in the all important issues of domestic finances and duties.
Your guy will become quite anxious for a little while once you have moved in together. He will be looking for any major conflicts. He is feeling that his independence is under threat. He no longer has the freedom that he had before, and for a lot of men this is a terrifying concept. You should allow him to have some time out to himself. The less threatened he feels, the closer he will become to you. A man has to be able to feel that he can be left alone when he wants to be. Giving a man space when he needs it, is perceived as being a terribly important trait for a wife.
When you shouldn’t move in together:
You should never move in together just so that you can save on rent or because one of you has had a flat mate run off. If your boyfriend is only talking about moving in together, in terms of convenience, then don’t do it. He is only seeing you as a flat mate he can sleep with. You should only move in with your boyfriend if you have been in a long term relationship together, and you feel that you are headed for matrimony. Do not move in with him too early on in the relationship. The formula seems to be to date for about 1 year and then think about living together.
Before you move in with him you should talk to your boyfriend about your expectations of the relationship. You should probably be expecting the diamond ring within a year of cohabiting together. However, be careful how you word your expectations as you don’t want it coming over as an ultimatum. You should have this conversation before you move in together, probably in the same talk where you both discuss where you see the relationship going long term.
Once you are sharing the love shack you should ease off on the commitment stuff for a while. Let him have a chance to adjust and relax. Your boyfriend knows that he has an obligation to you for a further commitment. Most guys will propose within 6-12 months of living together. If he hasn’t made any mention of it by the first anniversary, it is probably a good idea to have another talk about where the two of you are headed. Some guys will get complacent if the relationship is all just going along nicely. These fellows definitely need a prod forward. If after a year, your guy is not happy for a further commitment, you should think about leaving.
De facto relationships are important for professional men to ascertain that you really are Mrs. Right. Career guys will only move to this level in their relationship if they are contemplating popping the question. If you need to brush up on your attraction skills, this is (I believe) one of the best downloadable guides around: How to get that guy. So, yes, you can live together before marriage and still manage to get that diamond solitaire. By using this living together advice, you will be increasing your chances of getting engaged. A life partner is forever and so is a diamond.
Good Luck!!!
The Dating Game: How to Get that Girl. 22 Tips for the Perfect First Date
She has agreed to see you. Now you just have to pull off the perfect first date. Here are the best dating secrets to ensure that first date becomes a hot romance.
1: Don’t try too hard. Most girls agree that a laid back first date is more important. Girls get turned off by elaborate displays on the first date. Bearing this in mind, going for a drink instead of a meal is perfectly acceptable for a first date.
2: Let her know the venue in advance. This dating technique gives her the opportunity to be appropriately dressed and more comfortable in her surroundings. This is particularly important if you are planning something left of field as you do not want her tottering around a golf course in stilettos. If she feels out of place she will never forgive you and you will not be seeing her again.
3: Ensure the venue is not next door to where you live. She will notice and assume that you have sleazy intentions.
4: Confirm your date, preferably the day before. This is invaluable dating advice because if you leave it too late, she will think you are standing her up and will probably plan something else so as to not look needy.
5: First dates should be on a week night and not on the weekend.
6: Give her your personal and work or mobile numbers. If you are too secretive with your details she will assume that you are married or juggling many girls, neither option is seen as attractive to girls.
7: Sit at 90 degrees to her. This is a great dating tip as this is far less intimidating than sitting directly opposite. It also allows for easier hand and arm touching if appropriate. For more information on fantastic first date body language read this enlightening article.
8: Compliment her thoughtfully. All girls have heard the over used clichรฉs. These are truly boring and turn offs, so spend some time before the date if you have to, thinking about what you liked about her initially so you can work on that.
9: Ask original and thoughtful questions. You should have your own life story in a condensed version that can be humorous and brief. Don’t forget that girls find guys with a sense of humour extremely attractive.
10: Make sure that your date is comfortable. If your girl is wearing a skimpy top and you are outside in the middle of winter she is going to be thinking more about hypothermia than you, so it is up to you to ensure that the situation is pleasant for her. Showing her that you are thoughtful and considerate makes a lot of brownie points. You will definitely impress her.
11: Dental hygiene. If you are not kissable she will never have sex with you. Make sure you have cleaned your teeth and that your lips and breath are up to scratch. Don’t assume your three day growth is a turn on.
12: Hold her hand. This shows a level of interest without being too forward. The way she responds to the hand holding will give you some idea of how the date is panning out for her.
13: Suggest sharing a dessert. Girls love to be seduced by sweets. Even if you have been out for a drink you can always move on to a cafรฉ and have a coffee and cake. Girls love sharing sweets as they get to enjoy the taste but only half the calories.
14: Take note of the colour of her eyes. You should be looking at her eyes while you are chatting with her. She will already know the colour of yours. Girls expect guys to notice these details.
15: Tip well. Girls will notice if you are too shabby with the tipping and write you off as cheap. Ignore this first date advice at your own peril.
16: Observe her body language. If she touches your arm then she is interested in you. If she touches your leg then she is really interested. For more information on the flirting female read on
17: Be protective. At the end of the date walk her to her door safely. Do not assume this gives you the right to come inside and have sex. Give her a kiss on the cheek and then say goodbye.
18: Keep the momentum going. If you don’t keep in some form of contact she will start to lose interest. At the beginning you should be aiming for a minimum of one date per week and several phone calls.
19: Weekend dates should be happening by the 4th date. If you cannot make time for your new girl by this stage she will assume that you have something to hide, like a wife or another girlfriend.
20: Do not promise to call if you are not going to.
21: If the first date gets a bit hot and heavy you should call her the very next day. She will be feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. If you do not call she will feel cheap and used. Best to say “I had a great time and can’t wait to see you again” and then line up another date. Possibly keep the second date a little lighter on the physical side so that she can regroup and then carry on from there.
22: Do not suggest cooking for her at your house as a first date. All girls see cooking at your house as a ruse for sex and this should not be suggested until further down the track.
These are just a few of the principle steps. You should make a point of learning the finer and more successful steps for dating women and successful dating strategies. You’ll never look back!
Happy Dating,
1: Don’t try too hard. Most girls agree that a laid back first date is more important. Girls get turned off by elaborate displays on the first date. Bearing this in mind, going for a drink instead of a meal is perfectly acceptable for a first date.
2: Let her know the venue in advance. This dating technique gives her the opportunity to be appropriately dressed and more comfortable in her surroundings. This is particularly important if you are planning something left of field as you do not want her tottering around a golf course in stilettos. If she feels out of place she will never forgive you and you will not be seeing her again.
3: Ensure the venue is not next door to where you live. She will notice and assume that you have sleazy intentions.
4: Confirm your date, preferably the day before. This is invaluable dating advice because if you leave it too late, she will think you are standing her up and will probably plan something else so as to not look needy.
5: First dates should be on a week night and not on the weekend.
6: Give her your personal and work or mobile numbers. If you are too secretive with your details she will assume that you are married or juggling many girls, neither option is seen as attractive to girls.
7: Sit at 90 degrees to her. This is a great dating tip as this is far less intimidating than sitting directly opposite. It also allows for easier hand and arm touching if appropriate. For more information on fantastic first date body language read this enlightening article.
8: Compliment her thoughtfully. All girls have heard the over used clichรฉs. These are truly boring and turn offs, so spend some time before the date if you have to, thinking about what you liked about her initially so you can work on that.
9: Ask original and thoughtful questions. You should have your own life story in a condensed version that can be humorous and brief. Don’t forget that girls find guys with a sense of humour extremely attractive.
10: Make sure that your date is comfortable. If your girl is wearing a skimpy top and you are outside in the middle of winter she is going to be thinking more about hypothermia than you, so it is up to you to ensure that the situation is pleasant for her. Showing her that you are thoughtful and considerate makes a lot of brownie points. You will definitely impress her.
11: Dental hygiene. If you are not kissable she will never have sex with you. Make sure you have cleaned your teeth and that your lips and breath are up to scratch. Don’t assume your three day growth is a turn on.
12: Hold her hand. This shows a level of interest without being too forward. The way she responds to the hand holding will give you some idea of how the date is panning out for her.
13: Suggest sharing a dessert. Girls love to be seduced by sweets. Even if you have been out for a drink you can always move on to a cafรฉ and have a coffee and cake. Girls love sharing sweets as they get to enjoy the taste but only half the calories.
14: Take note of the colour of her eyes. You should be looking at her eyes while you are chatting with her. She will already know the colour of yours. Girls expect guys to notice these details.
15: Tip well. Girls will notice if you are too shabby with the tipping and write you off as cheap. Ignore this first date advice at your own peril.
16: Observe her body language. If she touches your arm then she is interested in you. If she touches your leg then she is really interested. For more information on the flirting female read on
17: Be protective. At the end of the date walk her to her door safely. Do not assume this gives you the right to come inside and have sex. Give her a kiss on the cheek and then say goodbye.
18: Keep the momentum going. If you don’t keep in some form of contact she will start to lose interest. At the beginning you should be aiming for a minimum of one date per week and several phone calls.
19: Weekend dates should be happening by the 4th date. If you cannot make time for your new girl by this stage she will assume that you have something to hide, like a wife or another girlfriend.
20: Do not promise to call if you are not going to.
21: If the first date gets a bit hot and heavy you should call her the very next day. She will be feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. If you do not call she will feel cheap and used. Best to say “I had a great time and can’t wait to see you again” and then line up another date. Possibly keep the second date a little lighter on the physical side so that she can regroup and then carry on from there.
22: Do not suggest cooking for her at your house as a first date. All girls see cooking at your house as a ruse for sex and this should not be suggested until further down the track.
These are just a few of the principle steps. You should make a point of learning the finer and more successful steps for dating women and successful dating strategies. You’ll never look back!
Happy Dating,
TenTips On How To Get That Guy
1. Show the Guy That You Are Vulnerable
Men need to feel needed, yes it may be from the dinosaurs but it does still apply. I do not mean that you have to be weak, give in to whatever he wants, and put up with any way he treats you I am not suggesting that. Many men like strong women, but strong women who put out that they do not need a guy often end up alone. It is fine to be strong but try and temper it with "ok here is a situation where I can be vulnerable". Men have a strong protective instinct, though
they may rarely show it.
2. Let The Guy Think That He Is Doing The Hunting
Men love the thrill of the chase, it is in their genetic makeup, it is definately a male thing. Play a little secretive and hard to get, and men will flock like bees to honey.
That means having a sense of your own worth, men hate women who are clingy. They are not props, they hate boosting a womens ego all the time. In fact men
want a real balanced person. Make him feel he wants to make the first move and do the chasing. Women learn to manipulate men at a very early age. By the age of five most girls have learnt how to wrap their father around there little finger.
3. "Let The Guy Think That He Is Mr Right Rather Than Mr Right Now!"
Stroke their egos, they are not a ticket to go out and pay all the time, let them know that you really value them as a person.
4. Laugh At His Jokes
This is imperative that a man feels he is funny and witty and is an extension of three, they are valued for their sense of humour. Where would we be in life without
laughter.
5. Never Call Him After The First During The Next Week
If a guy is interested in seeing you again, trust me he will call you in the first week. He will do this even if he says he has to go out of town. If you call him, you come
across as over-anxious. You appear desperate, and are more likely to scare the guy off. It is OK to ask him out the first time but not the second.
6. If You Are Dating Online Get A Professional Photo Taken At A Studio
When dating online you have to market yourself to be successful. A professional photographer will know how to get the best shots out of you and make you look your very best.
7.Don't Go Out With Your Girlfriends In Large Groups
Some men feel that approaching a women in a large group is intimidating. Go out in smaller groups, and make it easier for an interested guy to approach you.
8. Approach Him
Be confidant enough to approach him and ask him if he wants to go for a coffee. If you're not sure whether he is gay or not, then approach him anyway.
If he gives you the brush-over then you have lost nothing, but you can pat yourself on the back for taking the initiative, most men will be flattered by this.
9. You Like Him But He Is Ignoring You
Guys are insecure, and they want to feel liked, and popular. Start ignoring him for a while, not rudely, you don't have to make an issue out of it. Just look right through him, and he will start to be piqued. There is no guarantee here he may not take it any further, it may just boost his confidance, but you have not lost anything
10. Don't Appear To Be Desperate
Desperation is a real turn off for men. It is an indicator that a woman is going to start to get clingy, and that is not good. Appear yourself and show a friendly interest.
About the author:
Publisher & Author: Roy Barker.
Men need to feel needed, yes it may be from the dinosaurs but it does still apply. I do not mean that you have to be weak, give in to whatever he wants, and put up with any way he treats you I am not suggesting that. Many men like strong women, but strong women who put out that they do not need a guy often end up alone. It is fine to be strong but try and temper it with "ok here is a situation where I can be vulnerable". Men have a strong protective instinct, though
they may rarely show it.
2. Let The Guy Think That He Is Doing The Hunting
Men love the thrill of the chase, it is in their genetic makeup, it is definately a male thing. Play a little secretive and hard to get, and men will flock like bees to honey.
That means having a sense of your own worth, men hate women who are clingy. They are not props, they hate boosting a womens ego all the time. In fact men
want a real balanced person. Make him feel he wants to make the first move and do the chasing. Women learn to manipulate men at a very early age. By the age of five most girls have learnt how to wrap their father around there little finger.
3. "Let The Guy Think That He Is Mr Right Rather Than Mr Right Now!"
Stroke their egos, they are not a ticket to go out and pay all the time, let them know that you really value them as a person.
4. Laugh At His Jokes
This is imperative that a man feels he is funny and witty and is an extension of three, they are valued for their sense of humour. Where would we be in life without
laughter.
5. Never Call Him After The First During The Next Week
If a guy is interested in seeing you again, trust me he will call you in the first week. He will do this even if he says he has to go out of town. If you call him, you come
across as over-anxious. You appear desperate, and are more likely to scare the guy off. It is OK to ask him out the first time but not the second.
6. If You Are Dating Online Get A Professional Photo Taken At A Studio
When dating online you have to market yourself to be successful. A professional photographer will know how to get the best shots out of you and make you look your very best.
7.Don't Go Out With Your Girlfriends In Large Groups
Some men feel that approaching a women in a large group is intimidating. Go out in smaller groups, and make it easier for an interested guy to approach you.
8. Approach Him
Be confidant enough to approach him and ask him if he wants to go for a coffee. If you're not sure whether he is gay or not, then approach him anyway.
If he gives you the brush-over then you have lost nothing, but you can pat yourself on the back for taking the initiative, most men will be flattered by this.
9. You Like Him But He Is Ignoring You
Guys are insecure, and they want to feel liked, and popular. Start ignoring him for a while, not rudely, you don't have to make an issue out of it. Just look right through him, and he will start to be piqued. There is no guarantee here he may not take it any further, it may just boost his confidance, but you have not lost anything
10. Don't Appear To Be Desperate
Desperation is a real turn off for men. It is an indicator that a woman is going to start to get clingy, and that is not good. Appear yourself and show a friendly interest.
About the author:
Publisher & Author: Roy Barker.
The breakdown of relationships and why they fail
All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing partner to consider having or continuing to have, a physical relationship with them. Lose this from the start and you will become mayor of the friend zone.
Definition of sexual tension - Cocky and funny. A loud mouth, walking the thin line of winding her up without overly offending her. Posing as a challenge and not doing everything she says without a bit of give and take.
No sexual tension = a dead relationship.
There are 4 general types of relationship.
THE FRIEND ZONE RELATIONSHIP
Familiarity without sexual tension. (Usually the male not opening his mouth to challenge a girl he REALLY fancies.) This leads to complacency in that the female becomes numb to the presence of the male (because he doesn't stimulate her emotionally through lack of communication) and associates him as a social partner only. This leads to, the friend zone. The male is permanently seen as a non sexual friend only. Once a female has made up her mind that you are a friend and she says the F word. It is the kiss of death for any attraction you have for her. You will never have a physical relationship with her from this point onward and will spend the rest of your time with her, hearing how she got off with this great guy at the weekend. All the while you're dying inside. When you eventually tell her how you truly feel and she rejects you. She will sit and wonder why you are not answering the phone any more as you were a great listener to her problems.
PURLEY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Purely physical attraction. After a while a lack of sexual variety leads to complacency in both parties. Boredom / lack of sexual tension makes both parties become fed up with each other quickly. This leads to a breakup of the relationship and both parties go their separate ways. This type of relationship can be prolonged if both parties are willing to explore their sexual fantasies and keep variety in the bedroom. The long term feasibility of such a relationship is still in question.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION
Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male resists, lack of conformity equals continued sexual tension which equals a long lasting relationship viewed as love in a love hate relationship.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION VERSION 2
Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male conforms and no longer poses a challenge. Female gets bored as there's no sexual tension any more. Relationship starts to slip. Male thinks everything is ok as he is doing everything she wants but in reality, she has lost all interest in him. It is at this point that she will either stay with him in a purely partnership arrangement or leave him as soon as a better male comes along that stimulates her emotionally.
THE OVER POSSESSIVE PARTNER
The above scenarios do not take into account over possessive partners that bully or smother their partners to the point that they leave or attack them. This is known in some circles as 'a bunny boiler'. So named after the film fatal attraction where an obsessed Glenn Close cooks the family's pet rabbit in a revenge attack for Michael Douglas spurning her advances after a brief sexual relationship.
Usually over possessiveness stems from the insecurities or lack of trust in one partner. (They may have been hurt in the past and are determined to not let it happen again, to the point where it becomes an obsession.) Or they're a total psycho, run for it!
Relationship number 4 is the most common. In general you will see it while at the shopping center. The husband pushes the trolley and every time the wife speaks, it's either yes dear or no dear. The husband has conformed to do what the female requires in order to have a quiet life. The female thinks she is superior, in control and has mastered the art of man handling.
In reality she is destroying the mans animal attraction to her. She is slowly numbing him into an affair with someone else. Little does she know it but as he no longer poses a challenge to her, she is slowly becoming numb to him. As his animal instinct is tamed and he finds her attractive less and less, they will suddenly, one day, find themselves in a loveless marriage.
They will at this point be co-existing in a purely partnership based relationship for the sake of survival or because of children. This has lead to relationships breaking up after 30 years of marriage and both partners wonder why their marriage is so lifeless.
It has been described as 'the spark fizzling out'. In reality it is the lack of sexual tension or sexual variety. Remember, a female thinks with her emotions and a man thinks with his…..err….physical attraction mechanism.
If a male no longer stimulates her emotionally, she will seek it elsewhere. Equally if a female is no longer sexually attractive to a man, he too will look elsewhere.
Don't get me wrong ladies, some things can't be reversed, like aging and the passage of time, but there are ways to grow old and still be sexy to a male partner. A boring sex life is a recipe for disaster and being sexy is more than a lack of wrinkles. If in doubt, it's time to start experimenting in the bedroom to see what pushes his and your buttons. Explore each others sexual fantasies and do things you only dream about at night while your partner is asleep. You'll be surprised how quickly your relationship bounces back as a result.
If you have any sense you will heed my warning weather you are male or female, married or just starting a relationship. Try to keep the sexual tension alive between the two of you. If not, you will be on the next train to dumpsville wondering why he or she slept with someone else.
About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster.
Definition of sexual tension - Cocky and funny. A loud mouth, walking the thin line of winding her up without overly offending her. Posing as a challenge and not doing everything she says without a bit of give and take.
No sexual tension = a dead relationship.
There are 4 general types of relationship.
THE FRIEND ZONE RELATIONSHIP
Familiarity without sexual tension. (Usually the male not opening his mouth to challenge a girl he REALLY fancies.) This leads to complacency in that the female becomes numb to the presence of the male (because he doesn't stimulate her emotionally through lack of communication) and associates him as a social partner only. This leads to, the friend zone. The male is permanently seen as a non sexual friend only. Once a female has made up her mind that you are a friend and she says the F word. It is the kiss of death for any attraction you have for her. You will never have a physical relationship with her from this point onward and will spend the rest of your time with her, hearing how she got off with this great guy at the weekend. All the while you're dying inside. When you eventually tell her how you truly feel and she rejects you. She will sit and wonder why you are not answering the phone any more as you were a great listener to her problems.
PURLEY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Purely physical attraction. After a while a lack of sexual variety leads to complacency in both parties. Boredom / lack of sexual tension makes both parties become fed up with each other quickly. This leads to a breakup of the relationship and both parties go their separate ways. This type of relationship can be prolonged if both parties are willing to explore their sexual fantasies and keep variety in the bedroom. The long term feasibility of such a relationship is still in question.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION
Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male resists, lack of conformity equals continued sexual tension which equals a long lasting relationship viewed as love in a love hate relationship.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION VERSION 2
Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male conforms and no longer poses a challenge. Female gets bored as there's no sexual tension any more. Relationship starts to slip. Male thinks everything is ok as he is doing everything she wants but in reality, she has lost all interest in him. It is at this point that she will either stay with him in a purely partnership arrangement or leave him as soon as a better male comes along that stimulates her emotionally.
THE OVER POSSESSIVE PARTNER
The above scenarios do not take into account over possessive partners that bully or smother their partners to the point that they leave or attack them. This is known in some circles as 'a bunny boiler'. So named after the film fatal attraction where an obsessed Glenn Close cooks the family's pet rabbit in a revenge attack for Michael Douglas spurning her advances after a brief sexual relationship.
Usually over possessiveness stems from the insecurities or lack of trust in one partner. (They may have been hurt in the past and are determined to not let it happen again, to the point where it becomes an obsession.) Or they're a total psycho, run for it!
Relationship number 4 is the most common. In general you will see it while at the shopping center. The husband pushes the trolley and every time the wife speaks, it's either yes dear or no dear. The husband has conformed to do what the female requires in order to have a quiet life. The female thinks she is superior, in control and has mastered the art of man handling.
In reality she is destroying the mans animal attraction to her. She is slowly numbing him into an affair with someone else. Little does she know it but as he no longer poses a challenge to her, she is slowly becoming numb to him. As his animal instinct is tamed and he finds her attractive less and less, they will suddenly, one day, find themselves in a loveless marriage.
They will at this point be co-existing in a purely partnership based relationship for the sake of survival or because of children. This has lead to relationships breaking up after 30 years of marriage and both partners wonder why their marriage is so lifeless.
It has been described as 'the spark fizzling out'. In reality it is the lack of sexual tension or sexual variety. Remember, a female thinks with her emotions and a man thinks with his…..err….physical attraction mechanism.
If a male no longer stimulates her emotionally, she will seek it elsewhere. Equally if a female is no longer sexually attractive to a man, he too will look elsewhere.
Don't get me wrong ladies, some things can't be reversed, like aging and the passage of time, but there are ways to grow old and still be sexy to a male partner. A boring sex life is a recipe for disaster and being sexy is more than a lack of wrinkles. If in doubt, it's time to start experimenting in the bedroom to see what pushes his and your buttons. Explore each others sexual fantasies and do things you only dream about at night while your partner is asleep. You'll be surprised how quickly your relationship bounces back as a result.
If you have any sense you will heed my warning weather you are male or female, married or just starting a relationship. Try to keep the sexual tension alive between the two of you. If not, you will be on the next train to dumpsville wondering why he or she slept with someone else.
About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster.
The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of
Many males complain that they don't understand females. Many females complain that they don't understand males. We also have the classic saying that men are from mars and women are from venus. Physically both sexes are very similar and are of the same species so what is the problem?
After much reading on the subject, there seems to be a general consensus that there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women think. The bottom line is that men think with logic but women think with emotions. This is why a male gets so frustrated with a females sometimes irrational behavior.
Additionally, a female rarely says directly what she wants. Instead, she will use reverse psychology by asking the male a series of questions until she gets the desired answer. If she does not get the desired answer she will take the huffs and give the male 'the cold shoulder treatment'. She thinks this will alert the male that something is wrong and he will do what she wants….with out actually telling him |:(
Meanwhile the male is left dazed and confused as to what happened. After which an argument is usually required to get to the bottom of the problem. The whole situation could have been avoided if the female had stated directly what she wanted in the first place.
When asked why they do this, most women will either answer that they don't realize they're doing this or they simply don't know why. Many an argument could be avoided if what came out of a girls mouth was the same as the thought that was processed in her brain. But alas, it is not.
The classic example is a couple driving along a road. The female is hungry so she says to the male 'would you like to get something to eat?' The male replys 'no thanks I'm not hungry at the minute' and keeps driving. She then takes it thick because she didn't get the answer she was looking for. If she had said 'I'm hungry, pull in at the next shop so I can get some food' he would have done just that without question.
This all stems back to the fact that a female thinks with her emotions, not logic. This is why a male cannot understand a females rational. Males cannot read between the lines. They are not psychic or clairvoyant and they need everything spelled out to them in black and white.
Males often also complain that females are moody, have mood swings and show irrational or erratic behavior. This is especially apparent in times of stress, emergencies or significant events where body chemicals and emotions are highly stimulated.
Because a females behavior is affected by her emotions and her emotions are affected by her body chemistry and her body chemistry is in a state of flux from one month to the next, it can only be expected that a female would exhibit erratic behavior that is a mystery to a man whose body does not go through a constant monthly cycle of change. Re-read that last paragraph guys if it went over your head.
Unfortunately this behavior is genetically built into a females body. So sorry guys, you are going to have to live with it and while you can't get rid of it, you can at least be aware of it and try to understand it.
So in short, guys need to try to interpret better what a girl is saying, as it may not be exactly what she means. Girls need to try better to say exactly what they mean, if they want their guy to do what they want, without playing head games with them. Weather this is actually possible (as it goes against our genetic programming) is another case entirely.
About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster.
After much reading on the subject, there seems to be a general consensus that there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women think. The bottom line is that men think with logic but women think with emotions. This is why a male gets so frustrated with a females sometimes irrational behavior.
Additionally, a female rarely says directly what she wants. Instead, she will use reverse psychology by asking the male a series of questions until she gets the desired answer. If she does not get the desired answer she will take the huffs and give the male 'the cold shoulder treatment'. She thinks this will alert the male that something is wrong and he will do what she wants….with out actually telling him |:(
Meanwhile the male is left dazed and confused as to what happened. After which an argument is usually required to get to the bottom of the problem. The whole situation could have been avoided if the female had stated directly what she wanted in the first place.
When asked why they do this, most women will either answer that they don't realize they're doing this or they simply don't know why. Many an argument could be avoided if what came out of a girls mouth was the same as the thought that was processed in her brain. But alas, it is not.
The classic example is a couple driving along a road. The female is hungry so she says to the male 'would you like to get something to eat?' The male replys 'no thanks I'm not hungry at the minute' and keeps driving. She then takes it thick because she didn't get the answer she was looking for. If she had said 'I'm hungry, pull in at the next shop so I can get some food' he would have done just that without question.
This all stems back to the fact that a female thinks with her emotions, not logic. This is why a male cannot understand a females rational. Males cannot read between the lines. They are not psychic or clairvoyant and they need everything spelled out to them in black and white.
Males often also complain that females are moody, have mood swings and show irrational or erratic behavior. This is especially apparent in times of stress, emergencies or significant events where body chemicals and emotions are highly stimulated.
Because a females behavior is affected by her emotions and her emotions are affected by her body chemistry and her body chemistry is in a state of flux from one month to the next, it can only be expected that a female would exhibit erratic behavior that is a mystery to a man whose body does not go through a constant monthly cycle of change. Re-read that last paragraph guys if it went over your head.
Unfortunately this behavior is genetically built into a females body. So sorry guys, you are going to have to live with it and while you can't get rid of it, you can at least be aware of it and try to understand it.
So in short, guys need to try to interpret better what a girl is saying, as it may not be exactly what she means. Girls need to try better to say exactly what they mean, if they want their guy to do what they want, without playing head games with them. Weather this is actually possible (as it goes against our genetic programming) is another case entirely.
About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster.
Instant Dating Strategies Anyone Can Use
Most of us walk around caught up in our own thoughts. We don't look at people as we walk down the street and we have the radio blasting in the car so we don't even notice those single, sexy individuals in the cars next to us.
Tip #1 Get out of your head and into your environment.
Instead of saying that there aren't any available guys out there, why not take your head out of your book at Barnes and Noble and notice if anyone is noticing you?
There are probably plenty of attractive men out there dying to ask you out. Your body language may be part of the reason why they don't.
Tip #2 Have open body language. This means no crossed arms. No hiding behind books. No hunching your shoulders.
Tip #3 Make eye contact. Instead of looking down when a cute guy looks at you, meet his gaze. The right eye contact can be sexier than the hottest verbal conversations.
Tip #4 Smile more. Studies have proven that a smiling face is thought to be friendlier and more attractive than someone who goes around with a tight jaw. Relax your jaw and allow your lips to be at least partly parted at all times. Notice the difference in how many more people smile, look your way and approach you.
About the author:
Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and published author.
Tip #1 Get out of your head and into your environment.
Instead of saying that there aren't any available guys out there, why not take your head out of your book at Barnes and Noble and notice if anyone is noticing you?
There are probably plenty of attractive men out there dying to ask you out. Your body language may be part of the reason why they don't.
Tip #2 Have open body language. This means no crossed arms. No hiding behind books. No hunching your shoulders.
Tip #3 Make eye contact. Instead of looking down when a cute guy looks at you, meet his gaze. The right eye contact can be sexier than the hottest verbal conversations.
Tip #4 Smile more. Studies have proven that a smiling face is thought to be friendlier and more attractive than someone who goes around with a tight jaw. Relax your jaw and allow your lips to be at least partly parted at all times. Notice the difference in how many more people smile, look your way and approach you.
About the author:
Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and published author.
Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up
Breaking up.
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject
Love at first sight?
Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know?
If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man).
Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.
'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?!
Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society).
You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people.
If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction.
This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women.
Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul.
These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away.
She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels).
Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.
If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."
Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).
In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that different relationships with different women are going to give you different experiences.
Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.
If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S. that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.
Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article, but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect, devotion, passion, etc. from her.
It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right (with some nice social status to boot).
There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to take it from there (I can help you there as well).
About the author:
Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating.
If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man).
Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.
'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?!
Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society).
You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people.
If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction.
This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women.
Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul.
These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away.
She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels).
Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.
If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."
Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).
In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that different relationships with different women are going to give you different experiences.
Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.
If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S. that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.
Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article, but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect, devotion, passion, etc. from her.
It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right (with some nice social status to boot).
There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to take it from there (I can help you there as well).
About the author:
Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating.
Mike's Dating Story
Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed.
“Coach,” he said. “I need to get out of my relationship.”
Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn’t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find “the One”. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.
Today’s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn’t want to be with. He told me his story.
“I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.”
For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, “We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least…the first six months were a blast…really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.”
Mike’s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, “After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest…this is sort of rough to admit…I wasn’t interested in a thing she had to say.”
“Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed…it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear…it made me nuts.”
He sighed. “I’m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.”
Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. “We need to break up and it’s been a long time coming anyhow. I’m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It’s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I’m 38 and I still haven’t figured it out.”
Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we “end up in” rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!
But eventually the “chemical reaction” of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don’t know that well. In Mike’s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn’t stand to be around.
This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.
Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.
Does this “more informed” method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is “No!”
Just like physical attraction alone isn’t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won’t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.
But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You’ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.
.
What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It’s not the holy grail of dating, but it’s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.
You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.
Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
About the Author...
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host.
“Coach,” he said. “I need to get out of my relationship.”
Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn’t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find “the One”. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.
Today’s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn’t want to be with. He told me his story.
“I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.”
For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, “We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least…the first six months were a blast…really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.”
Mike’s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, “After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest…this is sort of rough to admit…I wasn’t interested in a thing she had to say.”
“Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed…it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear…it made me nuts.”
He sighed. “I’m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.”
Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. “We need to break up and it’s been a long time coming anyhow. I’m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It’s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I’m 38 and I still haven’t figured it out.”
Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we “end up in” rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!
But eventually the “chemical reaction” of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don’t know that well. In Mike’s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn’t stand to be around.
This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.
Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.
Does this “more informed” method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is “No!”
Just like physical attraction alone isn’t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won’t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.
But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You’ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.
.
What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It’s not the holy grail of dating, but it’s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.
You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.
Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
About the Author...
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host.
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